Starting Over When Everything Else Fails

Sling it!

 

So much of everything is packed into the tiniest bit of nothing. Those words will never be more clear until you find yourself starting over. And everything else you relied on, everything else you counted on, everything else you were a part of falls apart. So let’s be clear. Everyone falls and everyone fails. Not everyone is in the situation of starting over because everything in their world failed.

 

How are you supposed to come back from something of that magnitude? The real answer is, you don’t… And that is your silver lining. You might be going through this situation right now. Your relationship failed, your employment has ended, you’re about to be evicted, and you find yourself grasping for answers because you may still have little ones needing more from you. You may be sitting alone in that shelter home right now looking around wondering how life got so far out of hand for you to be there. Your family may be small or estranged, you may have none, and your friends can only carry you so far because they are trying to make a life of their own. Life didn’t happen the way you imagined it. And everything you ever packed into this life has vanished into the tiniest bit of nothing.

 

You are going to find yourself rationalizing with life, with God, and with yourself. You are going to be like that broken record that only plays that annoying part and your circle of friends will eventually grow smaller. So where is this silver lining at? The truth is, I’m not done yet. You are also going to get angry. Very angry. At life, friends, family, at the person you feel is the blame for it all, even the person at the DMV. That’s not right, everyone’s angry with the people at the DMV. Basically anybody.

 

So where is this silver lining at? Again, still not done. When you are done being angry, you are going to be taken on this wild rollercoaster ride of emotions. That range from finding happiness simply by being able to purchase your own meal to being outraged because your stapler did not staple correctly. Think of this process like a hard re-boot for your mind. You are re-learning everything all over again. And while you can process the situation as you are going through it, you aren’t able to manage it as you have in the past. It is like seeing your old playbook that you used to master but now all those answers have been erased and it feels like it’s completely new. So you are going to make quite a few new mistakes from some old situations you’ve already been through.

 

Are we at the silver lining yet?

Here’s the thing. I can’t give you a playbook to refer to or a timetable on how long you will experience this. I can tell you the silver lining. Assuming you don’t place yourself in any permanent legal trouble and you are strong enough not to find alternative ways to escape your reality, you will eventually make it through to the other side. More importantly, you will not be the same person you used to be. Your weaknesses will become your strengths. You will no longer rely on the power you can wield. You will allow your creativity to influence a situation. And when the world is stressing over the monotonous, superficial, or absurd things, you will know how to live in the moment and enjoy it. So everything you ever packed has turned into the tiniest bit of nothing.

 

Bring it!

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